btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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