Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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