trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
