4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
