I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize