You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
