I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
