Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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