doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
