May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
