He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
