Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
