let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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