She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
