So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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