His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
