We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I pour the whiskey from now on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
