Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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