You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
