dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
