Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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