David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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