How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
