I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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