Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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