My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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