Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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