Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
