If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So many bounce houses so little time
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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