my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
