dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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