I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
