please come you make the beer taste better
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
