i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
