goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this boner is exhausting
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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