let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
