What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
