I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
