He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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