We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
