you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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