You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
