YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize