Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
