The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
