You're a womanizer and a bitch.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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