my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
