I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
