Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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