You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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