I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
