Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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