I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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